RE-LEARNING HOW TO LIVE, LOVE, AND LAUGH 

AFTER THE LOSS OF MY BABIES - ONE SONG AT A TIME.

obabywhereartthou@gmail.com

  • Sara

Early Term

This post is best read while listening to "Falling Ocean" by Chad Lawson.


So, here we are - 37 weeks today. The longest of my three pregnancies, yet the one that seems to have literally flown by.


From finding out I was pregnant two months after losing Luca, to starting the painful and stressful genetic testing in the first trimester (so many blood tests I lost count, one biopsy, several scans and three different clinics and hospitals). From the much-dreaded 20-week scan (where one of the amazing consultants who firstly diagnosed Luca’s condition last year came over to have a thorough check of Chicco’s heart and joked with us saying “I only came here to say goodbye, I really don’t want to see you guys again!”) to the unknowns of the third trimester. From the first tiny flutters at 14 weeks to the strong, defined movements of the past few weeks.


I didn’t get to do/experience so many things I dreamt of - a surprise baby shower, pregnancy yoga with other mums, taking better care of my body, going to Italy one more time to be with all my friends and family, and so much more.


But I did experience so much love. From this incredible community of warrior mamas all over the world. From my husband, who makes a point of telling me I’m strong and beautiful every single day. From my mum and dad, who are as scared and excited as I am. From my brother, whose mission is to make me laugh every single time we speak on the phone, especially if I’ve just messaged him saying “Can we please talk? I’m not feeling well.” From all my old friends in Italy, and the ones I’ve got here in London, who say Luca’s name often and make me feel so proud. From Daniel’s family and friends, who have been supportive beyond measure.

So, my little rainbow, these past 37 weeks may not have been ordinary, blissful, or easy for either of us. But what’s waiting for you out here is pure love, and we both deserve it so much.


We’re ready for you.




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