RE-LEARNING HOW TO LIVE, LOVE, AND LAUGH 

AFTER THE LOSS OF MY BABIES - ONE SONG AT A TIME.

obabywhereartthou@gmail.com

  • Sara

He's Here!

This post is best read while listening to "Living Proof" by Bruce Springsteen.


Federico William was born on Friday 7th June at 12:46pm, weighing in at 3.2kg (7lbs 1oz) and measuring 51cm (20.5in).


Things started happening on Thursday afternoon, and I was in established labour in the night between Thursday and Friday. I didn’t want any pain relief and managed to get to the full 10cm dilation in about 7 hours, after which I started to push.


I pushed non-stop for nearly two hours, but nothing was happening, and I was exhausted, desperate, and in an incredible amount of pain. Doctors were called in and decisions were made with us: Federico needed to come out quickly, so I was wheeled into theatre where a team of about ten people looked after us.


I was given a spinal block and an episiotomy and told to push whilst the doctors were using forceps to ease Federico out. His heart rate dropped drastically and I genuinely thought he would not make it. I cried and I couldn’t stop shaking. After three pushes, Federico was out into the world, breathing and screaming, and Daniel and I were crying with an immense amount of relief that perhaps only bereaved parents can truly, fully understand. I was later informed that the reason why Federico couldn’t be born without medical intervention was because he came out with one hand by his head, and the cord wrapped around his neck and body. One of my worst nightmares.


I didn’t experience the positive birth that I had been hoping for, but the only thing that matters now is that Federico is here, and he’s alive and healthy.


To make it even more special, our rainbow baby, and Jelly Bean and Luca’s little brother, was born on the first-ever Rainbow Baby Day, created by the fantastic charity Kicks Count. His older siblings were with us each step of the way and will never stop watching over us and their baby brother from wherever they are now.




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